Hey trends come and go, I get it, I know what’s in today
will eventually be a cringe worthy moment 5-10 years from now while scrolling
through a Facebook photo album. Typically when mistakes are made we all
take a moment and reflect on where things went wrong, we learn our lessons and
grow as individuals and as a society.
Unfortunately when living in an era of a fashion faux pas
you really can’t tell, you are in the moment, it seems legit, and most
importantly it just feels so right.
We have all seen trends come and go
·
Bell bottom jeans - 1970’s
·
The ridiculous hair styles guys had during
the hair band craze and the heavy metal phase – 1980’s
·
Prevalent Raiders gear and gang colors in inner
cities and of course affluent suburbs after NWA dropped Straight Outta Compton
on us - 1988
·
The annoying bad boy preppies with long
sideburns and tall slicked back hair compliments of Dylan McKay and Brandon
Walsh from 90210 – 1990’s
Honestly a great friend of mine
still has that style and cut. He will remain nameless, but we went to
school together, he spends his days educating and molding the future leaders
of America, and for reasons of anonymity he will go by Joey Blue Eyes from
Beantown. “Joey” as he will be known for now still has the same 90210
Dylan/Brandon hybrid look which would seem ridiculously out of date today
except rise of Justin Bieber has really saved him.
Damn, I got side tracked making fun of my friend who will
remain nameless… For those that know me it is a favourite past time of mine!
So I have been struggling with the fashion sense since I
have arrived in Sydney. Don’t get me wrong, there are plenty of normal
people here, but would you really want me to tell you about all the normal
things that happen?
There are a few factions when it comes to
Sydneysider’s fashion.
·
There are the chicks that think the old school
pre Kabbalah Madonna look is still in, you got it, teased out hair, pleather
pants, the large black rimed shades with the multicolour neon arms, and of
course a cheesy tank top.
·
Then there are the Westies who typically look
like the Delta Bravo meat heads that were non paid extras (that didn’t know it) in all
the clubs that the Jersey Shore cast frequented. For those who don’t know
what Delta Bravo’s are, it is a nice way of saying douche bag right in front of
someone as in “Take a look at this Delta Bravo right here”.
·
Worst of all is the is the starved looking adult
male wearing skinny jeans, a v-neck white t-shirt, and an ill-fitting blazer all
while working the Bieber cut on top, or even worse a knit hat in the summer.
Just think of this… You are the skinny jeans wearing
Delta Bravo, you are out on the piss one night (drinking heavily) and you pick
up some wanna be Taylor Swift type girl, yup, the chick that wants to come
across all innocent and proper and be respected in the morning, the type of
girl that will tell you “I don’t normally do this on the first night” only for
you to find out she is worse than the town bike your whole football team ran
through in high school.
Side-tracked again…
So you wake up in the morning at the Taylor Swift wannabe’s
house, you quickly grab you skinny jeans and your “Sea Shepherd” save the
whales t-shirt and head to the first café you see as you can’t go another
minute without a low fat soy latte, only to find out at the register that you
are wearing the disease infested jeans of little miss innocent from last
night.
Not only are you a huge Delta Bravo, you now have to face
the music and return to the scene of the crime, where you know your new best
friend is taking down your full name and address off your license so she can
track you down a few weeks later to skim a few hundred dollars off you with a
pregnancy scare. Trust me my man, she didn’t break her Golden
“I Never Have One Night Stands” Rule just for you…
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